1. The "Absentee Friend". You never see each other. You never hang out, and when you do manage to catch them, they spend the entire time on their phone, texting and tweeting. They only stay for a little while before rushing off to do something else... Effectively making you feel like you're not interesting enough for them... but you've been friends for years, so you let their behavior slide while passive aggressively texting another friend about them.
2. The "Compulsive Liar Friend". Everything this person says stinks of over exaggeration. It's like, they don't know how to have a conversation with you without trying to make you feel like your life is diddly squat compared to theirs. It doesn't do any good to point out when you catch them in a lie, either, because they'll just try to worm their way out of it.
3. The "It's Not My Fault Friend". Whether it be ruining your jacket they borrowed, or forgetting to pick you up from work when your car is in the shop, nothing is ever this person's fault. Nothing. They have a million and one excuses every time there is a problem. They take responsibility for nothing. They probably are also that compulsive liar friend, too.
4. The "No Matter What, I Can't Get My Ass Anywhere On Time Friend". As an obnoxiously overly punctual person, I hate it when I'm late. I try to make it a practice to show up every where at LEAST ten minutes earlier. So when someone shows up late for a meeting, a date, or to work, I take it as a slap in the face. I know sometimes things happen, but when it becomes routine, I get really insulted. I hate waiting for people. I have a couple of friends that I will actually tell to be somewhere 45 minutes before I actually plan to show up, and sometimes, I am STILL waiting for them. *cough*Foxy*cough*. I mean, buy a watch. Bonus points if they always have an excuse for being late. (See #3)
5. The "Push Over Friend". This person has no backbone and won't argue with anything you say. While it sounds like a good idea in theory, the "What do you want to do?" "I dunno, what do you want to do?" Gets old.
6. The "Shit Stirrer Friend". This person loves drama. They start crap (intentionally or unintentionally) by saying things. Planting seeds. A favorite example of mine is that a few months back, the Juggernaut and I were talking about a girl he knows and he says "Yeah, she doesn't like you." Well, I had met her once, for about five minutes, so I thought that was a rather harsh judgment. Later he admitted she never actually said that, but that he just assumed she wouldn't like me because we both have such strong personalities. Kind of makes me wonder what he says about me when I'm not around.
7. The "I'm Bored Friend". No matter what, it's not enough for this person. I'm a relatively low key kind of girl. I'm not a big dancer or drinker (hey hey hey, ANYMORE!), I prefer to sit in a booth and talk to a couple of good friends rather than get Snooki-Making-Out-With-A-Bush wastey pants... but I have a few friends that find that sort of stuff disdainful. Which makes me wonder, if we can't have a good time having a conversation, why are we friends?
8. The "Fair Weather Friend". If things are going good in your life, this person is around 24/7. Maybe you have some extra money and they want to help you spend it. Maybe you have a new connection at a local bar. Or maybe you're just the most fun person ever. When things are good. However, when things get bad, your BFF is nowhere to be found. They can't handle broke you. Or sad you.
9. The "Mario Friend". No matter what you do, this person has ONE UP you. You have a new boyfriend, they have a new boyfriend who's a doctor. Your fantasy team is second in the division, their fantasy team is first place in the league. Every single thing you do, they have to do better.
10. The "User Friend". Whether it be for money, for sex, for the sake of just having someone to do something with... This person doesn't actually care about you. you're their last resort, but by-gum, you're there, and they are going to use you for everything they can. (see also #8)
Now, I don't want any of my friends to get upset, as I didn't write this post with any of you specifically in mind, except for "No Matter How Hard I try I Can't Get My Ass Anywhere On Time". However, I know I have a former friend reading this, and I would like to say to her that yes, several of these points are about you, and that's why we're not friends any more. I'm sure you have your own opinion about what kind of friend I was.
Basically, what I'm saying is, we all have faults, but we should try to recognize how we're treating the people we call our friends. Sometimes, we can be blind to what our actions are really doing and how they affect our social circle. And if you have a friend that you think is taking advantage of you, or isn't giving you the respect you deserve, speak up. Talk to them privately about their behavior. Don't be accusing or defensive, just say "Hey, I know you have stuff going on right now, but I just want you to know it makes me feel really _______ when you _______ ." If they are really your friend, and want to stay your friend, they'll listen. And at the same time, if a friend comes to you and says that, you need to listen. A good friend is hard to find.