My life would truly be empty if not for my friends and family, and also without the folks who insist on causing drama, so here's a little bit about the people who have helped make my life an amazing journey. They all have nick names to protect their privacy.
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| Us on my 27th Birthday. He's the cute one. |
Boyfriend: This one is pretty obvious, right? My 28 year old LOVER. He works in the "home improvement" field. Like me, he enjoys so-bad-its-funny movies, MMO's, and sitting around without pants. Unlike me, he also enjoys running and lifting weights. He's very tall, very thin, and the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen. He turned me on to "A Song of Fire and Ice", but I can't get him into "Firefly".
We met on a dating site, but unlike all my other first dates, at the end instead of the awkward "I'll call you sometime." and hug, he said "How long do I have to wait before I can see you again?" And then he kissed the fuck out of me.
We might get married one day. You're all invited.
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| TNR and I on Halloween '11 |
The Night Rapist aka TNR: My best friend, the one person who can dumbfound me, frustrate me and have me dissolving into a pile of giggles all in the same minute. We've become really close in the last few years and can have fun together sitting on my couch or riding roller coasters. TNR is...
different, and has dealt with bullying for much of her life. When she and I first met, I was actually one of the people who picked on her (one time I actually picked her up and put her in one of those big rolling trash cans. It had a brand new, clean bag in it, though), but after I got to know her, I realized what an amazing person she is. She's a big part of the reason I've worked so hard on my anti-bullying campaign, and one of the reasons I work so hard to be a better person. TRN is 25, works in a toy store, and wants to be a fashion designer. She loves Harry Potter, Punk Rock Music, The Beach, and 80s fashion. Know for her pleather leggings, lime green and purple Tutu, and high heeled sneakers, TNR is not afraid to be herself.
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| H-Woww and I at a costume party |
H-Woww: My other best friend, whom I have known more than half my life. H-Woww was the first real friend I made when I moved from Virginia to Maryland, and she's stuck by my side through every thing. No matter how much time passes, we've always been able to pick up right where we left off. Short and Skinny, she is my total opposite... but we frequently manage falling for the same guys. A 26-year-old-manager of a local water front bar, H-Woww is pretty much the real-life version of
Miranda from
Sex and the City: A Workaholic who can sometimes be very cynical. She has a bad habit of dating guys who don't treat her right, and although I had high hopes for her current boyfriend, he seems to be falling into the familiar pattern of the men in her life. However, since HWoww gave birth to a beautiful baby girl ("
The Precious", who is so cute, Sears hung her pictures up in their portrait studios. Booyah! I'm an auntie to the cutest baby, EVER), they seem to be working things out.
The Pretentious Swede: My like-minded confidant, The Swede is someone who will take your side, even when you're wrong. At 26, Swede is a teacher at a local private school. Swede is into baseball, football, and good music. She also enjoys going out to eat, where we both eat too much, talk too much, and usually wind up too full and tired to do anything else. We also decided that we can never take a road trip together again, since every time we've attempted it, we very nearly die. Or, in less dramatic terms, we were horribly lost.
Swede is actually on the LEFT of this picture. Blows your mind, right?
That's cause your racist! What? A Black girl can't be Swedish?
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| At a Bar... |
The Juggernaut, aka Juggs: The 33-year-old System Administrator for a local college, Juggs and I met through another mutual friend several years ago. We became better acquainted when he started dating one of my best friends (at the time). After they broke up, he and I became very close. He usually asks for my opinion on matters of dating, clothing, and general life stuff, and we often wind up somewhere very drunk, bitching about the world. A Fan of craft beer, good food, and a total freak at Movie Trivia, Juggs
will make some lady very happy one day. By leaving her. haha, I'm just kidding. Or am I? has finally met someone I deem to not only be worthy of him, she may actually be too good for him. I have not yet given her a nick name, but she seems very nice, mature, and fun.
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| On my 26th Birthday |
La Piñata : Our 22-year-old token Mexican. At first, I didn't like her, because of all the shit Dagger used to talk about her... That she was a two faced whore, a skank, a slut, a bitch, a drama-monger, etc... but since I've gotten to know her for myself, and actually taken the time to see what she's really like, I think she's a pretty cool chick. She
goes to is on hiatus from college and works two jobs and still finds time to party with us. Turns out, She's one of the "realest" people you'll meet, quick to tell you exactly what she thinks about you, and what you're doing. Also, they gays love her. It was meant to be, this friendship.
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| At a bar... |
Toast: The dopple to my ganger, Toast is my twin brother. My younger, taller, blacker, twin brother. He's the one person on the face of the planet who I can text at 2:30 in the morning with a "Smurfs" reference. We both enjoy Sushi, bad action movies, and the cartoon "Freakazoid". Toast currently dates "C-Note" and recently moved back to his home town when his company downsized. I miss his face terribly. At twenty-five, Toast works on a research farm, doing things to animals. What things, I'm not certain. I don't ask questions. He reads a lot, and also broods a lot. I won't say that he lives in his head, but he definitely tends to think about things a lot... too much.
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At a bar... Don't let Juggernaut's
Expression fool you.
He likes it. |
T-Rave: A former co-worker of Toast's that I totally friend sniped, T-Rave is the best dancer I know. A student of martial arts, the bearded raver has an affinity for glow sticks and shirts with Chinese dragons on them. T-Rave loves a girl who is in a relationship with someone else. He never hesitates to offer a shoulder or an ear, and has always been very supportive of my writing. Though things didn't pan out between us romantically, he's still one of my favorite people.
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| Asian Drew Carey |
Egg Roll: A former boyfriend, and still good friend. A MMORPG Nerd to his core, the 33 year old correctional officer enjoys movies, gaming, and spending time with his five year old son,
The Spring Roll. He's asian, but since he's no good with electronics, math, and doesn't play any instruments or like sushi, he's pretty much fail at it. Recently, he decided to pursue further education in the criminal justice field.
JPoww: America's Gay Sweetheart, My bossom buddy, and the best damned drag queen in the state of Maryland.. He is also the queen you can thank for my mad skills in make up, and my affinity for heels over three inches. Out of respect for his privacy (the company he works for is very Christian, and doesn't know he's gay, let alone that he... dresses with style), that's really all I can say about him.
Ders aka Double D: One of my best guy friends and my
"sometimes" former friend with benefits, but always good friend. We've known each other about a million years, and have always been able to call each other whenever things get rough. He is an ex-marine, and now works as plumber, and lives about 45 minutes away from me. He's also ridiculously smart and funny. We met through a guy I had the hugest crush on in High school, when I went to see his band one night. We've been buds ever since.
Ty The Legend: Ders's best friend, and another one of my best guy friends. He's a mechanic with a wicked sense of humor. He can always be counted on for a quip, and as a sounding board for whatever crackpot damned fool adventure I'm planning. He's usually the voice of reason whenever Ders and I are scheming to do something ridiculous... Which is often.
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| He's Artsy. |
The Colonel aka Mr. Bouncer: Originally a friend of The Night Rapist's, we've adopted Roy the Bouncer into our fold. He's tough on the outside, sweet on the inside... kind of like a... um... something with a delicious gooey center. He bounces at the bar we wreckers spend most of our time in. He has a radio show that you can listen to by going to
www.hawkradio.org. You can also follow
them on
Twitter or
Facebook. He date K-Luck, a nice girl who has a photography business.
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She makes this face
in EVERY picture.
I'm gonna make a
Slideshow! |
Foxxie: La Pinata's best friend and my occasional drinking buddy. She's a trip. Some of her classier statements include: "Oh shit, I'm getting pulled over, hold my beer." and "Wait, you have to stop at a stop sign?"
I think she's funny, but I'm a little hesitant to get in the car with her.
She also once posted something about having class on facebook, while her profile picture was over her standing on a toilet in a bar. I had to laugh at the irony, but I still enjoy her crazy ass.
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| That hat is PIMP. |
Cournaaaay Storm aka C-Woww: My Hot
Wifey for Lifey, I found Courtney (or rather, she found me) in the blogosphere. We began reading each others work and slowly, the love of a lifetime was formed, and when her boytoy didn't deliver, Kat Storm stepped in with a big ass diamond and showed that girl some real love. One day, we will adopt 17 Ethnically Diverse children and have our own TV show. C-Woww has her own blog, updated irregularly, which she rants, raves, and shows the world how to be a little more fabulous with
Sticky Lipgloss
Lucille and Da'quan Storm: My loving parents who put up with my endless crap, fear of a caterpillars, and love of all things four legged and furry.
Jake Storm: My
gay (and fabulous) little bro. I love his face. He's been in the Army for the last few years, and deployed for most of that time, but he's right back where he belongs, and you know what that means: DEBAUCHERY, and AWESOMENESS. He also blogs. It is
here.
K-Tizzle Storm: One of my best friends and adopted older sister. She's a massage therapist (not a masseuse) with two kids, and one heck of a temper, but I love her anyway. We met a few years back because we were both dating the same guy. She's got her own
blog, about eating healthy and living with diabetes, which she has not updated since July 2010. We don't see each other much, but when we do, its pretty much guaranteed one of us is going to almost pee laughing.
Moose and Jaberi: Two of my co workers who I occasionally have lunch with. They are both clever and hysterically off beat. Moose is also part of Kat Storm's Gay Mafia. Check out
Moose and
Jaberi on twitter.
Jaxie Fantastic: Jaxie and I "met" nearly five years ago, when I was doing freelance work for PointsInCase.com. Since then, she's become my cheerleader, my friend, and the person I always trust with my unpublished works. Jaxie lives in Minnie-soda, where she spends 28 hours a day chained to her desk. She loves football, and music, especially Taylor Swift. She's probably one of the most fiercely loyal people I've ever known, and one of the best friends a person can have, even if she's 1,000+ miles away. She occasionally guest posts for me.
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| Aww, Peach! |
Peach: A friend of mine from my high school days, we met when we were both just humble burger flippers. Sweet, kind, and just a little bit country-bumpkinish, Peach is one of the most genuine people you will ever meet in your life. She will give a total stranger the shirt of her back. She's an amazing person. Formerly a kindergarten teacher, she now works for the Board of Education as an English as a Second Language teacher for a nearby county.
Sammi and Big D: My one set of "grown up, married-with-two-kids" friends. I met Sam when I became her boss at the local newspaper a few years back. She and I quickly became friends and she eventually convinced me to quit with her and turn to a life of debauchery and alcohol. You guys can thank HER for this nonsense.
Winky: My Crazy ex that does drugs and that stalked me for about six months. I moved. He's the reason "Kat Storm" (which is a pseudonym) exists. Please don't send him "Thank you" cards with a return address label on it. He may show up at your house.
The Cookie Monster: My normal, grown up ex. The one that got away, so to speak... but the timing was all wrong, and I wasn't mature enough to handle things the way I should have. We maintain a pretty good friendship now, though.
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Before he leaves, he brushes his
teeth with a bottle of Jack |
The Bearded One, aka BW: A guy I "
dated" for a few months in 2010/2011. I fell hard for him, and it ended badly. It turns out that instead of being wonderfully quirky, he was just a verbally abusive alcoholic sociopath who uses people. And that's probably the nicest thing I could say about him at this point. He almost destroyed me, but I survived and moved on, though it took a long time, and when I think about the things he said and did, it still hurts quite a bit. My spies inform me that not only is he still single, he's still on the same dating site we met on, using pictures taken at my birthday party as he profile picture, though. Also, he has no job and copious amounts of body hair.
The OG: My ginger haired ex-boyfriend, whom I fell hard for in my late teens and tried to reconnect with in my mid-20s. Both times were intense crash-and-burns. I bear him no ill will and hope that he finds the girl he's looking for. We see one another out from time to time, and though we can have a civil conversation and laugh with each other, there's no hope of having a real friendship. Too much has been said.
The Kids: Otherwise known as Raffy, Pita, Spaz, Twinkie and Ozzy. More commonly known as "The damn cats and the stinky dog." respectively.
Places likely to get "Wrecked":
The Angler (sometimes referred to as The Deck Bar): A small bar on Talbot Street and The Bay in Ocean City. HWoww manages it, and it's the scene of some wreckage every once in a while. They have kick ass Sunday Night Deck Parties.
Brew: It's a bar in the middle of the ghetto that tries to be upscale and keeps out the riff raff by charging ridiculous 30 dollar covers. Yeah, no thanks.
Market: The Bar everyone I ever went to high school with has started going to. If I wanted to see those freaks, I'd facebook stalk them, but I am occasionally veto'ed and make appearances there. The bar is tiny, and always full of people. Not my scene.
The Dive: The bar we used to go to. It's not really a dive, but the place could definitely use a make over. I've been hanging out there off and on since I was 21, and the bouncers all know me, and the bar tenders are all great. It was like my Cheers.
The Club: A spot in Ocean City that actually has four night clubs in one location, as well as a Hooka Bar and a Pool Bar. It's good for people watching, and occasionally has an open bar for the locals.
The Delaware Dive: A really, really grimy bar in the Middle of Nowhere, Delaware. They think the epitome of Culture is a Creed Cover band and Bud Light Pitchers. The nicest dressed guys wear camo hats and boots. The girls all look busted. I love that place.
The Rib Joint: A locally owned and operated restaurant that has Trivia on Tuesday nights and often served as foreplay for TWT. The owner is a pretty chill dude, and My friend Cijja works there, so there's always a good time to be had there.
The Old Haunt: A Karaoke bar I used to go to with HWoww and Mandolin, feels like a hundred years ago, but really, it's only been about four. I've started going there on the weekends. They recently added a stripper pole. This Bar is now "The Georgia House" and we've stopped going there.
The Main Street Grill: A small, but nice, bar on Main Street with good food, decent tunes, and trivia. It's also one of the few places in town you will never see me at on a weekend. It's cramped and usually crowded, I'm not a huge fan of that. Sadly, this bar went out of business.
